Being forty-something


When I was coming up to forty I wanted to embrace it, make sure I looked after my health, sorted my life out but the opposite happened. The Mrs got ill, and I suddenly got depressed, took on a lot of stress and comfort ate on junk food and found out about Gregg’s two quid coffee and bacon roll deal. which I had every morning before work. My energy was bad and I felt really old and struggling to get to work. My belly was getting bigger and I when I looked at it I felt I’d given up on myself. Now I’m doing OK, did you guys feels like I did and still do sometimes? what about being overweight helped you decide the time had to come to try and lose some? I think mine was half what I looked like and half how I felt.

WTF is palm oil, anyway? - The MVF Newsround 22/11/18

I (finally) got myself sorted in my forties. Can’t really pinpoint any particular incident or reason, I honestly think it was a bit of a mid-life crisis, maybe it was the thought that if I didn’t sort it then I probably never would.


Maybe @Nathan_Hind …if it was relatively easy to slip into regular Gregg’s breakfast offers andvforming that habit, it could be as simple to slip into a habit of sliding off to the gym immediately before, or after, work? …swap one habit for another.

It seems you’ve hit that point where you (we) say “Enough, things have to change”…so what’s your plan?


I am 44. It was just over a year ago, had given up smoking and after moving had a welcome to your new doctor’s checkup with the resident nurse. I knew I had been putting on weight, but still had myself down as only a stone or two over.

Confessed to drinking at least 3 litres of Coca-Cola every day, a 1000 calorie meal deal for lunch every day & a big bar of chocolate most days after evening dinner.

Even at that point, when she pointed out I had a 6% chance of a stroke in the next 10 years, I was still in denial. I mean, that’s a 94% chance that it WON’T happen?

Then, whilst walking home, a lightbulb switched on. 6% is a roughly a 1 in 16 chance. Still sound as low as 6% does? Nope!

I decided there and then to make changes. Lost 5kg in a month before even signing up to MAN v FAT. By Christmas I had lost 19.3kg.

This year has been slower, a LOT slower. Too many easy excuses. Christmas itself, birthday, Easter, moving & the final part of this post below.

But I am now 18 months without cigarettes, I am still a lower than at Christmas, I am still losing weight & my partner & myself (at a combined age of 92) had an unexpected gift this August:

So yep, sorted myself out in my forties. :+1:


That’s a brilliant story mate, glad you got a bit of a hang on a minute thought rather than say yeah it’ll be ok. Well done, and what a nice gift you’ve both got. I think your daughter will be a great reason to keep going. 44 keep rockin


I turned forty this year. I was already in a big pit of depression and had been for a few years. If I’m being brutally honest with myself then it was probably post natal. I really struggled when my boy was first born so hit the booze. Booze led to hangovers, hangovers to fatty breakfasts, minimal movement and crap food. I really just didn’t care about myself and my body started to show it.
So what changed? A few things,
I got some professional help. As much as i didnt like the idea of going to a shrink it pointed me in a better direction and gave me a better understanding around being a dad, boozing, emotions,eating loads and feeling shit.
I realised that was wearing the same clothes because I was to big to fit in others.
I sweat a lot and it embarrassed me.
I want to be a role model for my boy.

The comical thing is that depression and boozing require the same fight, which luckily helps with weight loss. That is fight I am doing now. That fight is simply making healthy choices,doing exercise that you get value from (mine is tennis and I about to try jujitsu). I can honestly say in the few weeks that I have been doing this I feel better both mentally and physically. If I continue this I may even make 50 without a heart attack.


Thanks mate for your honesty, yeah it’s not until we get honest we can do something about what’s not right. It’s interesting what you say about the fight, I have had problems with gambling and when you work on that I have thought that it’s very similar to losing weight. I was very depressed around 41. Being a dad is difficult, my daughter is 20 and always worried about her


I hit 40 last February 2018.
When I look back, I slightly grieve for me 30’s. I destroyed myself mentally with stress, anxiety and high-functioning depression. In the end I had a stretch of CBT help, which has helped massively.
My promise to myself was that these would be my “■■■■ it forties” where I would be a good bit kinder to myself. So far, so good - a much more balanced, confident, relaxed approach mentally.
Physically though, I’ve been a dedicated comfort eater since childhood, that’s going to be my biggest challenge - not secret eating junk crap in my car etc.
First day back at work for the new year on Monday, and I’m hoping (hoping, hoping) to
build a quick gym visit into my morning routines before work. Feeling a bit physically disgusted at myself at present so it’s time to get sorted.

All I would say is, even though there’s a bit of a stigma with men’s mental health, bite the bullet and get help. Never underestimate the power of a peaceful mind!!