Okay, just a little bit of pushback here
Yes, you are absolutely correct that taking the wrong attitude is detremental. Things like: “I have a slow metabolism, I can’t help it” or “I have a thyroid condition, I can’t help it (when no medical tests have been done)” or my favorite, “Who cares if I’m 350 lbs? My curves are beautiful and if you tell me I am unhealthy you are body shaming me!!!”
But I just don’t buy it that “Calories in, Calories out are the only thing you need to focus on! Just get with the program!” While it is true that a calorie deficit is what makes us lose weight (or gain weight if we take in a surplus), I also believe that different human bodies run at different levels. Some people (very few) will be able to eat whatever they want and not get fat. Some people will not have a food addiction that makes them want to overeat. Others will only pick up a little bit of weight and naturally maintain at only that level, while people like me are capable of packing on an extra 200+ lbs that shouldn’t be on their frames. But that’s because we are all different.
Take the Bill Gates example. Bill Gates grew up extremely privileged. He had family money that made sure he got the best education growing up and he was prepared (and could afford) to go to Harvard before dropping out to found Microsoft. He is the equivalent of a person who has a naturally high metabolism.
Steve Jobs, on the other hand, was kinda a screw-up. He was adopted by a good family, sure, but he bounced around and dropped out of college with no plan. He did drugs and vagabonded around India before coming back to California, hooking up with the Woz, and starting Apple Computers. He didn’t have a “high metabolism” so his success yo-yoed… mostly because of self-inflicted problems. (We can correlate his business career to our own success in keeping a healthy diet.) But man, oh man, when he put his mind to a problem he could blow it out of the water with an innovation nobody else could match.
These two men came from different backgrounds. Each man had different advantages and challenges. Both ended up famous and fabulously wealthy. Like Steve Jobs, those of us who don’t have the genetic advantage of a “good body type” can, through training and a lot of hard work, get our bodies into shape.
I’m not saying that we should let people wallow in self-pity. Quite the opposite! When someone laments the fact that they don’t seem to have a high metabolism, ask them “So what?” It just means you’ve got to work harder. Success builds upon success, and while it might be harder for you to get started, once you do get started you can control your destiny. Be like Steve Jobs… the success part, not the drugs and self-sabotage where you get kicked out of your own company part.
We should recognize that some people have it easier than others when it comes to maintaining a healthy body. To say we are all the same could be putting a burden on them that causes them to quit because they can’t understand why others seem to be so much better than them. But we should also help them take pride in the fact that they are overcoming more, when they have more to overcome. That’s just the way I look at it.