Hi guys just wondered if any of you can help? Im in this loop of eating coz I feel low, then feel even worse after and so on and so on!! but on the other hand if something good happens or I feel happy Ill want to celebrate by getting a take away or munch (crisp choc) and if i manage to eat clean and drop some weight Im fine until something bad happens, or i get pissed off about somthing, then ill binge eat then because iv eat crap i think oh iv messed up now and the diet goes out the window!!! Is it just me? Am I weak? or can anyone relate?? my weight dictates my whole life. I cant wear clothes i want because they dont do my size, I dont go out with freinds anymore coz im worried about what they will think, Its takeing over my whole life!!!
You’re not weak, from experience it’s pretty normal. I spent 20 years in that frame of mind before I finally got started seriously losing a couple of years back.
Start by reading up and educating yourself. Pretty much anything written on here by @maxnas is good, common sense advice. Understand what’s what and take it from there. Imagine yourself in a year from now (a) at the same weight and shape as you are now and (b) 3-4 stone lighter and down by a coupe of sizes. Which one are you going to go for?
Time slips by very quickly, I spent 20 years procrastinating, that’s the easy thing to do. You’ve made the first steps by joining here. Join a group, kick on and get started with the footie - I see from your other posts today you are starting that. Good luck.
If you read a lot of the victory threads most of us suffer from the same feelings. I could relate to so many stories and got motivation from the threads. The 30 days keeps you motivated and you feel proud when you see the results.
MyFitnessPal is a godsend I used it for at least 8 months when starting , still use it when I feel myself slipping , using it just now with all the Christmas things going on.
You can do it most of us have used food for the wrong reasons.
Welcome mate, you have come to the right place. You can succeed here, it is a great site.
I have never suffered from from depression or been a comfort eater so I cannot offer much insight into that but having people to talk to here will really help you.
As said above, have a look at getting into a 30 day group and make the most of it.
I am on most of the time so PM me if you are feeling down or want someone to chat to.
That’s was part of me too. I was depressed, so I’d eat. Then I’d gain weight, and get more depressed.
First and foremost, check this thread out: The ultimate new member welcome post .
Some good info in there.
Next, whats helped me is working to lose weight. I just got some dirty looks, protesting yesterday. And I was able to actually laugh them off. Not a single one bothered me. And I think part of that is my working to lose weight. Which has helped to increase my happiness overall.
When those niggling doubts creep up on you, and you start wondering if you can do it, just remember that you can. Your not weak, your not pathetic. You are strong, because your trying to find help. And thats more then most do in your case.
Like so many here, I experience the same emotional ups and downs and food seems to be my partner throughout all of it. But, being on MVF, the groups and the posts have been a much better partner during those times, so read the posts. Read about other people to see what is similar to your situation. They may not have the answer, but you will not feel alone which in my case, is the reason I over eat.
I have also found that really trying to eat the amount my body actually needs has helped my mood. When I am not overstuffed, I really do feel better. It’s the old trick of eating about half of what I think I want, knowing that in 20 mins, if I still want it, it’s there. I can tell you that usually, the food loses my interest during that 20 mins and I have found that when I am not overly full and I don’t feel the physical sensation of being overly full, my outlook improves and I focus places other than my body/weightloss.
It’s hard to take in all the advice and try new things, but the best, simplest start is to read posts here. It’s motivating and it will take you out of your own head for a while.
Glad you are here!
It took me until I was 52 to recognise that pattern. Some people never do. We reward ourselves with food, we comfort ourselves with food, and we punish ourselves with it. So, you’re already on your way, and you’ve absolutely come to the right place.
The thing is that you need to work with other people. That’s why we’re all here. We’ve tried it on our own, and it hasn’t worked for us. You said as much in your intro piece.
I’d ask you to stay with the group and see it through. But I’d also ask you to talk to a professional, too. Start with your GP.
Not enough men do this. More should.
Some great advise already posted, My addition would be to plan for celebrations to avoid the guilt spiral.
For example I have a Christmas night out on Thursday, i know that ill be drinking and thus food choices will be poor. Before I discovered MvF I would of used that to roll into a poor weekend, punished myself for having no will power and in most likelihood written of 2017 and started again on Jan 1st.
This time though I recognise that process I go through as @Doctor_Bong said. So I’m being extra good for the week before, sticking to 1800 calories a day and aiming to be 3 or 4 lbs down before I go out. It means I can go out on Thursday and enjoy myself but when I wake up on Friday (with a headache) I won’t feel down or guilty as it was reward for hard work.
I do this throughout the year and it really works. When I do slip up I think about where I’ve come from and where I want to be. Don’t let a bad meal turn into a bad day, a bad day into a bad week etc.
Also put things into perspective, read The Fat bank as it gives you a broader view. It’s about average consumption, 1 bad day of 5000 calories only equates to half a pound gain so don’t stress and get back on it as soon as you can.
Here here @Doctor_Bong! Good advice to see the GP. I think men tend to shy away from talking about problems but it can make a huge difference. I suffer from depression (life long) and I need meds daily. For me it’s the way my body works. I also talk to a professional regularly and it has helped me put my emotions in a place that is different from my eating in some cases (ie, I am better able to separate hunger from emtional eating). It’s a work in progress, but it is really helping. Short term or long term, it’s worth a try. It’s not right for everyone, but it could open some doors to feeling better.
Yes really important this. Prior to enrolling in a MVFIA group I’d always done the weight loss thing alone. We need help and support from other people who are in a similar position and the groups really help with that. Not every group works well but on the whole they work very well.