Dear Badge Master: Have you seen a small - somewhat pudgy and likely not very bright - child wandering around there? Because I appear to have lost one - FROM AROUND MY BODY! I’m down 52 lbs and would like to ask for the 50 lbs loss badge please.
If you find this child please send him home directly. Can’t say he’s loved (or missed that much actually) but I do intend to feed him up and get him even bigger.