What's the number one reason you've told yourself that CAN'T lose weight?


What stories have you told yourself in the past or are you currently telling yourself?

Either about a ‘plan of action’ & why IT won’t/doesn’t work

about it being ‘someone elses’ fault,

or about what you think/thought was wrong with ‘you/yourself’?

Spill the beans, let’s see if we can help each other eliminate our false beliefs :slight_smile:


I wouldn’t either…now, but for 20 years it was a different story.

I must have been through lots of reasons - medical reasons why my body must work differently to anybody else’s, the infamous ‘slow’ metabolism and lots of other things. The reasons not to lose weight are also easy to accept such as I’m happy, I’m loved - but that’s more of avoidance rather than reason I ‘can’t’.

As @Alex_PN says above I now know I can and, perhaps more importantly, if I don’t it is down to me and nobody else. That allows me to take responsibility for weight gains as well as be happy with losses, which are also down to me.


I think I always avoided the question as deep down I knew my answers didn’t stand up to scrutiny.


I am too lazy or enjoy eating too much to diet.

I am still pretty lazy, but I am enjoying what I am eating now using single ingredient foods, so the ‘enjoy eating’ too much to diet thing is definitely a myth.

Exercising is hard when you have a lot of extra weight, even climbing a flight of stairs can be a challenge. I think that getting your diet right is the bigger battle, so ‘lazyness’ or lack of energy can just be in part down to your size, as the weight comes off, you naturally will have more energy as you are not carrying the extra pounds. So I am not panicing about exercise at the moment, I have started doing some short walks, and will build on this over time.

I was conditioned to be fat from an early age

I still believe there are certain psychological aspects of eating that relate to your upbringing, I was ‘conditioned’ not to leave any food on my plate at an early age with phrases like ‘there are starving children in Africa’ and ‘no dessert until you clean your plate’. Although these aren’t un-breakable traits, as they were learned at an early age they are part of my ‘programming’ towards food. I find it very difficult to leave food on my plate, I would rather overeat than leave something. That said, smaller plates or smaller portions are what helps here, you can still have a clean plate and lose weight.

Sweets, cake and chocolate being a reward for good behaviour, this gives you an unconsious belief that these items are ‘good’ through pavlovian conditioning and being given as a reward for good behaviour. If salad or fruit had been the ‘reward’ then maybe my outlook may have been different. Again this is not something that is impossible to undo, but it means you are fighting against your subconscious.

On this one I think there is definitely a lot of truth, is it something that can be overcome? Of course it is, but you are going against ‘reflex’ reactions towards food that are conditioned from an early age and so it is hard to break those mannerisms.


Until I figured out that it’s calories in / calories out, I blamed a slow metabolism or an incorrect mixture of macro and micro nutrients.

The other issue I have had is night eating syndrome. A real thing, but now I’ve learned that when it happens, I estimate the calories I ate and put them as breakfast for the next day. I used to get totally down over it because it is rather like a compulsion and it’s a tough one to control. It also seemed to derail my hard work throughout the day.


Hi i am based in crawley west sussex


Few reasons I had was 1, dont rly wanted 2b healthy cos not v happy
2, wudnt b me anymore cos always been fat
3, felt abit hidden that I like. Sometimes feel self conscious tho so i kno it not make sense
4, might b stressful if more ppl was attracted 2 me n whatever (good job i still look like bulldog chewing a nettle pmsl)


Little will power around food.


Exactly. Anybody can lose weight.
It’s avoiding what causes weight gain that is harder.

You get out what you put in is what I have always said.


Really struggling w this 2day. Im worried am gonna b a different person/not really me anymore if i lose weight. Its not that i think im that brilliant but i worry about turning different, and if ppl think im different. Iv heard ppl say that can happen



You’ll be the same guy, you’ll just have lost some of the fat that you had. Don’t entertain these kinds of thoughts, they’re not gonna help you in the long run.

The only thing you’ll be changing about yourself is your weight, not your personality.


Thats a good video. A small part of me feels like i can relate to charles bronson, or i did when i was a teenager, NOT cos im violent, im not, but just cos i probably hav bits of the same personality disorder what can b really hard 4 ppl 2 manage. Maybes i need 2 take his words of wisdom! Lose abit of yourself 2 save your life. Defo something 2 think about!!


We all have identities that get moulded by life & any major changes we make bring with it a change in our identities,

Even stuff that we want to leave behind & improve on can be hard as we get attached to our identities for better or worse

That’s why changing can be so tough as we have to leave our comfort zone & even sometimes become a different person (to a big or small extent)

Retired athletes suffer massively with this, as when they retire they’re identity is still that of a celebrity/athlete, but life moves on without them

It’s a big thing with ex-military also (I used to work for the MOD),

It’s completely understandable mate,

Just keep in mind that in order to have a better live, you’ll have to leave parts of your old one behind


Aye its complicated isnt it, if u hav a idea of who u r, like it or not its what u hav. Hard 2 think about being different. I just hope i can change the bad things but keep the good if that makes sense

Also i sometimes feel like changing urself means u hav 2 feel bad about or not like ur self at the minute. Which dont get me wrong i sometimes think. But i wanna try 2b compassionate on myself u kno what i mean? I want 2 change but i dont want 2 look back on my current/old self n say i was a fat loser 2 b pitied. Theres enuf ppl 2 think that without me think it an all


Or, if you don’t lose weight, you will be the same person, still at a bigger risk of heart attacks, diabetes & more.

You can do it, the changes will be for the better.


Yes, i think its true! Thanx


I get the worry about being someone different and I think that holds me back a bit. That being said, I’m not super happy w my life being overweight and at risk for health probs particularly joint pain as I age. I need to have a lighter, healthier body and know that my inner self will get along w a new outer self. It ain’t easy and I’m not there yet but this is a great topic to bring up. I think so much of my residence to be successful w weight loss is psychological. Great topic. Thanks for bringing it up @Biffa94 :+1:t2:


Some questions to mull over…

Whats good about staying the same?

Whats not good about staying the same?

Whats good about changing?

Whats not good about changing?


Will have a think. I think its good 2 worry about change a little bit if its cos u think u hav some good qualitys. But there is always change as u go thru life