What's your WHY?


#81

I was fed up (i wont use the word depressed) with being called big al, I work with 2 other Alans who are taller than me and it just started pissing me off as i felt it was people were taking the piss out of me - i know it sounds trivial but that was the “thing”

i was 125+kg last year im now around 96kg and since i started playing footy again with MvF something I silently missed for 20 years due to my weight I’ve changed as a person,I dont need that bit of dutch courage to speak to strangers nor do I need to think i’ve got to stay out last,eat the hottest thing or spend a fortune to try and be noticed

I’ve learnt a lot speaking to the lads on MvF I’ve made new mates,lads who’ll pick you up when i’ve had a bad day rather than just suggest a bender

amazing what just a random bunch of fat lads (sorry) can do when we all have the same aim in life I’m on a journey and I dont know where or when it’ll end but im just going to enjoy it and fight every challenge what comes my way I know i’ll lose a battle or two but im determined to win this war on fat


#82

Well honestly, I have been HUGE my whole life. I was never picked on in school. I was always popular. The girls seemed to like me a little. LOL…However, I am a great actor, and I have been able to fool everyone for so long, especially myself. I knew when I would look at pictures of myself, I wasn’t happy with what I saw, but I would make excuses about the angle and the person taking the picture just sucking. I am a very comedic person, so when I would secretly begin to feel down about being so big, I just made a joke out of it. I have lost over a hundred pounds about three times in my life, including this time. I have lost about 120lbs so far, but I began at about 535lbs. It never felt like a weighed that much, so now that I am knocking on the door of 399lbs, which is still huge to you all, but I feel like a brand new person, I want to go all the way. You asked for the reason why…My reasons may seem vein, but they mean so much to me, and I am just being honest.

. I want to be more visually appealing
. I want to be able to wear skinny jeans like the rest of my friends
. I want to sit in a car and only be on my side
. I want to look great in a t-shirt and shorts/sweatpants
. I want to feel good when I look in the mirror
. I want to look better in a suit
. I want to no longer be cuter for a fat guy/ I want to be sexy as hell
. I want to fit into a sports car
. I want to stand in a room full of people and know I am one of the best looking things in there
. I want to not have to buy my clothes in the big and tall section
. I want to be able to go into any store comfortably and know they will have my size


#83

Well for me, it’s easier to explain HOW I got to this point in the first place.
Christmas 2010 and I wa reasonably fit and healthy. I bent down to pick up a box of photographs and :boom:! An umbilical hernia. A lump the size of a squash ball needed poking back in. It hurt like hell!
Fast forward a year, I had the op but I had piled weight on. I was depressed. I decided to train to run the London Marathon 2012 which I finished but a few months later, a horn of bone was sticking out of the top of my right foot. I couldn’t walk or drive and I absolutely packed the weight on whilst recovering from surgery. I was really depressed and unhappy and developed serious IBS.
After various tests, it was discovered I had pancreatic tumours, they were removed. Benign thank God.
Then I was diagnosed with fatty liver disease.
Then I was taken very ill with biliary cholic caused by gallstones.
I was told before Christmas last year I had pre diabetes. That was when I decided enough was enough after seeing Man v Fat on Facebook. I weighed myself on December 23rd at 124kg. In January when the Exeter league started, I was 117.8kg. I have a weigh in tonight, week 5 and I should be around 108.5kg. I have reversed my pre diabetes. I don’t suffer from the kidney, liver and gall bladder pain as severely as I used to. I am much happier. I can feel myself getting fitter. After years of watching my Son play, he has now finally watched ME play!
All in all, this concept is changing my life. I doubt I could do it at a traditional weight loss group. I play with a cracking bunch of lads and Friday evenings are the highlight of my week. We support each other every step of the way.
The next challenge is a bunch of old, fat, unfit guys who only met 6 weeks ago playing in the FA Peoples Cup in Plymouth on Sunday. Don’t care if we lose every game, we are doing something we thought impossible just a couple of months ago!! (And all our families are coming to cheer us on!)


#84

WOW what a story mate!


#85

Blimey what you done to lose so much in just 5 weeks? Seems an awful lot in a short space of time?

Half a stone a week!


#86

I have cut out carbs and packed in lean protein. Only 6 units of alcohol (rum or gin) on a Saturday night. Restricted myself to between 1200 and 1700 calories a day. Slowly increasing exercise as I lose weight to lessen impact on my knees.


#87

Thanks. What a transformation for you too!!


#88

Amazing… I only managed 2 weeks of that sort of weight loss… started at a similar weight back in August and only down to just under 106kg now.

4 weeks of Xmas took it’s toll too. :grin:

The protein makes sense… a lot of my calorie intake increase is eggs, tuna & chicken…


#89

JUST sick ov ppl havin a go at me or make fun of me for it cos i feel self concise all the time in case someone has something to say or think it. Am like fine, every1 hates my weight i do to, ill try sort it out

Its weird cos im that use 2 it I always been fat so i feel like i wont even b me if am not! But a dont much like my self in anyway s so not worryed to much


#90

I always used to tell myself I was happy being the way I was but honestly if I was happy then I’m now ecstatic - I have so much more self esteem and confidence - embrace the changes you are making and you won’t believe how good you will feel about yourself in a couple of months


#91

Thought I would do a longer thing, why not, sorry if its sound like excuses.
I hav been overweigh since my whole life far as I can remember. part of me gets abit annoyed cos I feel like the adults should of helped me more now I am landed with the problem! but yea my ma found it hard I suppose. I get put in foster care and I was a v naughty kid an suppose they had bigger fish to fry then my eating. which actually got worse bcos I was start binge eating. I hated how people always gon on about my weight including the social work n everything and I didn’t like when they try n diet me. part of me hated me weight but part of me felt protect by it cos of bad things wht had happened. I ended up in residential care including secure unit they lock me out the kitchen sometimes but idk if that was cos of the food or cos self harm n whatever.
I left when I was 17 an I found that v hard cos much as I thought it was gona b great being indepemdent I didn done a very good job of it! Like I say I was already overweight but thru not being kno about cooking/being able to plan meals and worse binge eating thru lonliness I put on nearly 4stone in a year. I didn’t even hardly care apart from it being abit embarrassing cos I didn’t care about my health one bit. I didn’t care what happened to me an kno no1 else will neither.
I kept on struggling for a couple more years then I ended up having a mental break down an got sectioned. Much as I hated havin to go to that hospital it did sort me out and helped me get on with my life. Part of that was meds which include anti psychotics. and its a bad fact about them that they can cause weight gain/appetite. So I end up gaining even more. its abit hard with them meds cos they have side effects including weight n I rather not b on them tbh. but am scared to come off them bcos don’t ever wanna go back to that or have to go to hospital. I still feel abit confused about the whole thing and idk if this is bad to say but I don’t even care about being slim just don’t want to be this big. get proper annoyed at myself for trying and failing but ah well better then not try I suppose.


#92

I just got sick and tired of being a fat "£%^&, not able to tie my shoelaces, always out of breath, not able to keep up with the kids, realising I’ll probably not live a long and healthy life.


#93

Here’s my “WHY”!

I was always a fat kid since around 10 years old when we first discovered I had kidney disease (minimal changed, steroid responsive nephrotic syndrome) which was manageable but I spent 3 weeks in hospital, lay in a bed putting weight on.

All my school years I was big, but tried to continue as normal as possible, playing for the school football team and out footballing with the lads every night, the weight didn’t come off though!

Left school and worked hard to get fit to play for the local team, all sports were ball sports and got the heart pounding and I pumped weights in the gym with my brother too, no rivalry like a sibling rivalry!

By the time I was 25 I was happy with my weight, then I got comfortable, big mistake, weight gained gradually but it kind of does that, it creeps up on you and when you notice it’s too late, it’s there and your lifestyle doesn’t give the scope to do anything about it, pressure of work, pressure from the wife to spend time together, and before you know it you have no time to spare!

As a bloke you don’t want to appear weak, so you don’t want to go to the gym and be the one who doesn’t last the session, no matter how friendly the gym, I toy with joining a cycle group but fear they will leave me behind or moan at me slowing them down so never actually do it!

I find myself avoiding human contact (except work of course), making excuses not to go out, it’s a forced solitary, and purely down to how I feel about myself.

I want to get back to my younger self, to regain passion and drive, to get home from work and WANT to do something, wake up on a weekend and WANT to decorate the kitchen or deck the back yard, or WANT to paint the fence, rather than spend the day sat waiting for something to happen, the first step to regain drive is to lose weight.

Now I’ve signed with Man v Fat Football and looking forward to getting some mojo back, my aim is to lose enough weight to have the confidence to rejoin my old 5 a side football team in Derby albeit they are in the veterans league now!

Maybe in time I will get back on the tennis court again or join a cycle group but at the very least I will find my golf swing easier and might hold it together better on the snooker table (still all balls).


#94

Hello Gents,

The Missus and I celebrate our 25th anniversary later this year. Recent photos show me as the lardy lump I’ve become, as opposed to the fit healthy chap I was back in '93. And… I’ve had enough. If things don’t change I’ll just go donwhill to a world of health problems and a probable early exit.

So, on a shallow level I want to look good in the photos which will be taken on our anniversary. On a deeper level I want to feel fit and healthy again, rather then being out of breath, too fat to fit in nice clothes and aching all over.

Every journey starts somewhere. And this is where mine does.

Cheers for reading.


#95

I’m a private person but I’ll open up a little. I have low self-esteem. I’m not a strong person nor am I a happy person. I also worry too much and ruminate constantly. I don’t have many friends so I’m lonely. I haven’t had a proper relationship and I don’t think I ever will because of how I look and feel about myself. However, I don’t have real problems like some people but every day things are frustrating for me. I try to make the effort to make the changes I need to in my life but most of the time I’m just plain lazy and think “what’s the point?” because I don’t value myself. This is why I’m back again, but also why I stay anonymous.


#96

Very brave to open up like that @PickleRick

Do you play in any of the Manvfat football leagues?
If not, why not track down your nearest one and watch the games one week? You’d be made welcome, they would try to get you to sign up, loads of people would talk to you.

I think you and I were on a MVFIA group together a few months back. I have to confess that I nicked your “snowman arms” tag - I thought that was brilliant !

Keep chatting on here. You’re not the only one :+1:t2:


#97

Fair play for the honesty @PickleRick, a lot of what you said struck a chord with me!! First off you haven’t given up on yourself, you are here trying to self-improve which means you can see a future where you are thinner, happier and have a better self image, that is a great starting point.

You need to ‘try’ to forget some of your hang-ups and take some risks that challenge your pre-conceptions about yourself, that way you can start to feel you have achieved things and start to value yourself, it isn’t instantaneous, but the more you achieve the better you feel. The fact you ‘don’t have many friends’ and ‘haven’t had a proper relationship’ most likely stem from how you view yourself.

I would always view myself as how I ‘thought’ others would view me, fearing snide comments, ever-ready for the “Who ate all the pies?” comments, which I can’t say I have ever received since leaving school (I am 40 now), they are just figments of my imagination.

My way of building some self-worth was taking up road cycling, wearing stupidly tight, love handle clinging lycra and heading out in public where people could judge me, this was pretty terrifying initially (I still can’t say I ‘like’ wearing it, but the bib-shorts stop you constantly showing your arse crack to anyone following you so they are pretty vital). As I started to enjoy the exercise more I rode with a ‘Fat Lad at the Back’ cycling shirt on, you stop fearing having the mickey taken out of you for your size if you are already wearing the joke on your back as there isn’t much anyone can say to insult you. And not once did anyone actually take the mick out of my size, a couple of times people would cheer me on as I crept ever so slowly up hills. I got quite a few thumbs-up from drivers passing me, but never did I get any nasty comments, the negativity that I thought everyone else had towards me was largely in my own head.

Then I started doing Sportive rides, these are like ‘fun-runs’ for cyclists, you get a goody bag, a medal and a tshirt at the end (I do love my free stuff), the feeling of getting a medal, although a seemingly worthless bit of metal, was amazing and addictive, I have lasting souvenirs of when I got off my arse and did some exercise! The other riders are all friendly, although you are timed it is not a race, you get outside in the fresh air and it becomes quite addictive. Cycling is a good way to meet people, you get to meet plenty of lycra clad people and it is a great way of losing weight without high-impact on the knees! Everyone appreciates how hard it is to cycle up the hills and the fact you are doing it carrying the extra weight commands you nothing but respect from other cyclists, and the more you do, the less you weigh, the faster you go.

I am not saying start cycling, but find and do something that takes you our of your ‘comfort zone’ a little bit, you will quickly find you can do things that you didn’t think you could do and start feeling better about yourself. A friend of mine who is also a big lad recently started Cross-Fit, I thought that was like aerobics, but it turns out it is proper hardcore circuit training with weights, he can’t do 50% of the exercises (like headstand pressups for instance, I mean who can!?!) but is loving the challenge. I almost fell off my chair when I saw him demonstrating ‘touch press-ups’ the other day, (you do a press-up and then touch your shoulder holding yourself on one arm, then do another press-up and touch the other shoulder with the other arm). The guy is 26 stone, I was hugely impressed and he is finding that hugely motivational exercise.


#98

Thank you for the support gentlemen.

Last night I looked at myself without clothes in a full length mirror for the first time in a while. It wasn’t pretty but I needed to do it. I didn’t feel upset or angry, I just felt disappointed and eventually motivated.


#99

Hello all,
Still new here, but here are my whys for joining:
Financial: none of my clothes fit, and I can’t afford new ones
Cosmetic: I’ve got bigger boobs than my wife, and I HATE the way they look in photos
Health: I recently moved to Thailand and playing rugby in 32 degree heat is killing me
Most of all, FAMILY, I became a father late in life and I’d quite like to enjoy it for a lot more years!
Have a good day,
Big Hen


#100

Sounds like a similar prob to the one i had - first off you are depressed. That is nothing to be ashamed of - its just a chemical imbalance in your brain, nothing you did , usually heredity. See your GP. He’ll put you on a piddly low dose of something to check your reaction, then you;ll have to go back after a couple of weeks and if no reactions he’ll up the amount. Then see how you go for 6 weeks or so. These pills do not work overnight, they take time. If they work , great. If not, get them changed and go thru the loops again. if they dont work a second time INSIST ON SEEING A SPECIALIST. They can give you a prescription for larger quantities and if necessary a cocktail of them. The specialist (psychiatrist/shrink call him what you will) can alter the cocktail to suit. Could take 6 months but well worth it. It worked for me - i sat in an armchair for 2 years not caring whether i lived or died, not wanting to go out or please my wife. It was all i could do to go to work and they noticed my productivity dive but fortunately had a occupational therapist on site to help.
Its important to get an OT on your side for work situations like you are snappy or agitated - they will then make allowances. There is no overnight fix but once the depression demons have taken flight, youll start to feel better and want to make a difference. Good luck and my prayers and best wishes. I’ve been there. Also listen to ‘Lola’s Theme’ by the Shapeshifters - you’ll be singing it to your shrink as a way of thank-you. Trust me.